The following is a response to the alleged Marriott staffer who complained about the tantrums of elite guests.
Dear hotel staff,
Do you know who I am? I am your best customer. I am the reason you have a fatter paycheck than the guy at the Motel 6. I am the reason you get to dress nicely and not worry about being mugged while on the evening shift. I am the reason your hotel can afford to offer a Starbucks, a restaurant, and a full-service bar. In short, you'd be screwed without me.
I know it must annoy you to have some rich prick complaining he didn't get his breakfast coupons and two bottles of water. And I know you must seethe when they complain that their upgraded room isn't upgraded enough, even though it's larger and nicer than your shared apartment. But take a breath and be nice anyway.
- This prick (or his firm) spent more than your monthly rent for two nights in this room, so maybe he really is entitled to a big, luxurious room
- Customers like him regularly toss around hourly-wage-sized tips (and more) to the staff at your hotel, but only if you're not a prick too
- Anyone with top elite status spent more than your annual salary at the hotel chain you work for, so that one guy represents your job
- I know it seems petty to ask for a bottle of water or cookie or piece of fruit, but this guy just got off a plane and he really is hungry
So hand over the water, upgrade the room, and thank him for his business. Feel free to rant, but only when you're off-property.
A Crazy Consultant