Like you, I have Platinum Status with just about ever hotel, airline, rental car agency, and liquor store in the Continental United States. DOUBLE Platinum with some, I'd like to point out.
Now, let me tell you a tale of a crazy consultant who officially reached "Too Platinum' status with the Intercontinental Hotel Group.
It all began at the hotel reception desk one rainy Monday evening in Connecticut.
Zineb (Nice Moroccan hotel receptionist): Welcome back Crazy Consultant!! We missed you!
Me: That's sad - it's only been since Thursday, but thank you!
Zineb: Guess what - you've been upgraded this week to our best Executive Suite!
Me: (feeling exceptionally special and quite deserving of this great honor) Thank you, Zineb.
Zineb: Justin (cool bell hop) will bring your bags up to the room. Enjoy!
Still feeling very important and righteous, I made my way to room 241.
THE EXECUTIVE SUITE, PEOPLE.
I opened the door to quite the spectacular architectural space.
The rooms were massive.
To the left - a bathroom straight out of the Bellagio. To the right, a 10-person Mahogany conference room table. On the wall - a matching mahogany white board.
Armoires....dressers....televisions...a couch...the Executive Suite was perfect.
Justin (cool bell hop) arrived shortly with my bags. He came in and said "wow - nice room."
"Damn right" I thought. "I'm pretty awesome with my Platinum Status"
He set my bags down and started to leave.
It was about that time that I noticed something, shall we say, ODD, about the room.
I couldn't quite put my finger on it...so I wandered around a bit (still feeling deserving and important). Justin was out the door and heading for the elevators when I figured out what the problem was.
The room had no bed.
Apparently I have acheived such status with the hotel that they fundamentally now assume that I don't require sleep.
I am not making this up.
This is when you know you're too platinum.