Consulting Horror Stories

In honor of Consulting Horror Stories, I am beginning a series of posts about experiences with bosses, clients, co-workers or whatever. Since these stories are real and have all happened to me, so please, do me a HUGE favor, post back your stories and keep this from being “about me” :-) .

Thanks!

Story 1: The Project Manager

Background: The story you are about to read is real. Only the names have been changed; to protect the innocent, er..um, the guilty. The scene is 2001 and this consultant has been working on a project partnered with an outside consulting firm. “The Firm”, is the prime on the contract.

Setting: Office, Car, Parking Lot

Participants: Me, Project Manager (PM), Voice on Phone, Boss

7:00 am

PM: We have a meeting at the client site at 1:00pm. I expect you to be there by 10:00am.

Me: 10:00am?

PM: 10:00am.

Me: um…ok.

8:30 am

Me: (picks up phone) Hello?

Voice: Hello, I have received your messages and am calling back in response.

Me: (excited tone) Ok, hold on, this is perfect you called me this morning, we are meeting with the client and this material will be a surprise for the client since they didn’t expect to get this data for another 4 weeks.

9:30 am

Me: (finishing up document) Ok, great, thanks for the call back, do you mind if I call you in the future in case anything additional comes up? (Pushes “Print”)

Voice: No problem, glad I could help. And yes, please let me know if there is anything else I can help with.

Me: Thanks, have a great day!

Me:

10:05am

Me: PM? It’s me, I’m running a bit late and will be there by 10:15.

10:15am

Me: Hello.

PM: WHERE IN THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

Me: I was running late, I called and left a message.

PM: I TOLD YOU TO BE HERE BY 10:00AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: I received a phone call related to this meeting and compiled the notes and data into a document so we can discuss the matter at hand with more information than we previously knew.
PM: YOU LISTEN TO ME!! WHEN I TELL YOU TO DO SOMETHING, DO IT!! I DON’T WANT ANY QUESITON, COMMENTS OR ANYTHING ELSE GET IT? I SAID BE HERE BY 10:00, YOU’VE LEFT ME HERE FOR 15 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: LISTEN!! I’VE BEEN WORKING ON YOUR BEHALF IN PREPARATION FOR THIS MEETING. IF YOU WANT ME TO DROP EVERYTHING TO BE THREE HOURS EARLY (3 HOURS!!!) FOR A MEETING FINE. BUT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT THERE WILL BE THINGS I CANNOT DO AND CANNOT HELP.

PM: THAT IS FINE WITH ME

3:00PM

Boss: Me? Please come to my office.

Me: Um, ok

Boss: Sit down and close the door.

Boss: PM tells me that you’re chronically late and its beginning to be a problem.

Me: Let me ask you a question. Do you think it is a big deal being 2:45
minutes early for a meeting instead of being 3 hours early?

Boss: Um, no.

Me: Thanks, Me neither. (gets up and leaves)

The End.