Sunday, December 7, 2008

Consulting without Pants

I don't think I've ever shared this...

Imagine it: Client Site, Halloween 2006, Houston, TX.

A group of consultants decide to go out for Halloween. The Crazy Consultant ALWAYS dresses as Wonder Woman.
And why shouldn't I?
I have the whole outfit - red boots, cape and all.

At 7 - I meets up with friend Cydney at Cydney's house.
Cydney and Crazy Consultant change clothes - and get completely decked out in Halloween wear.

The two of us head to a popular downtown restaurant, looking for "the party."
At said restaurant, we discover that no one else appears to be dressed up. This is the first sign that the night is not going to do as planned.

We entertain the restaurant in our costumes until a few other of our consultant friends show up - also in costume.

Together we corrupt the City of Houston - in costume.

ALONE in costume.

Friend Cydney decides to return home at about 11pm, and I decide to get a ride back to the hotel with some other consultant friends.

We continue to corrupt the City of Houston.

At 2am, said friends drop me back at the hotel - still in my Wonder Woman costume. I get weird looks from the hotel staff.

The next morning, I hop into the shower, more than slightly hungover.
Freshly clean, I get ready to head to work - until a slight problem arises.

Now. What I haven't mentioned is that I'm a light packer. I don't bring much to the client site each week.

So - that morning, I run into a problem when getting ready for work: I HAVE NO PANTS.

My pants are back at Cydney's - where I got ready for Halloween!! When she went home without me - I walked away from the only pair of pants I brough to Houston!!!!

How the hell does one go to work at the client site without pants???

Now this is an interesting problem - what does one do when stuck in a hotel, running late for work, and without pants?? What CAN ONE DO??

I called my Engagement Manager, who just happens to be the person who dropped me at the hotel the night before. "ACH!! I can't come to work - I don't have any pants!! WE FORGOT TO FACTOR IN MY PANTS!!! I'm STRANDED!!!"

"Don't worry," he says, "I won't tell the client."
Ummm....why the heck would he tell the client?

I called my boss, who happens to be at the same client site. "ACH!! I can't come to work - I don't have any pants!! LONG STORY!!"

I called Cydney. "WHERE THE #>";% ARE YOU? I NEED MY PANTS!!!!! GET OVER HERE NOW!!"

Cydney is nowhere to be found.

So I sat - on my hotel room bed, and waited for pants.

Cydney called an hour later. I convinced her to show up at the hotel with my pants.

Let me tell you - there is NO walk of shame like there is when you show up to the client site at noon - dressed - and without an explanation as to why you are late. Especially when everyone knows by now that you're late because you didn't have any pants.

Lesson learned: Bring SEVERAL pairs of pants each week to the client site.

1 comment:

Consulting SME said...

Hmm... Houston, 198something, Halloween. Project team goes to Eckerdt and gets crappy makeup kit for costumes. Cover our faces with white, black, red, whatever. Get to fanciest club in town, and are ushered in without a blink. Our costume? Tired business people. Once inside we realize how cheesy we look - because the club is having a $5,000 costume contest (hey, in the 80's that was a lot of money) and everyone is done up in extreme costumes. Who do we bump into? The conservative, quiet, somewhat grumpy consultant from the local office "Rosemary". She hates everyone. How is she dressed? Like a mermaid. Blue/green sequenned dress, flipper over the feet. And two clam shells. That's all.

Rosemary looked us up and down and said, "Shut up. Don't say a word.". And we never did.