Thursday, September 27, 2007

You Know You're in the Right Industry When Chain Emails Compare Your Job to Prostitution

If you are easily offended, please do not read on...
Sent by an alert consultant in Florida:


1. You work very odd hours.

2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.

3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.

4. You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.

5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price.

6. You are not proud of what you do.

7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.

8. It's difficult to have a family.

9. You have no job satisfaction.

10. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.

11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.

12. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.

13. Your family hardly recognizes you at reunions (at least the reunions you attend).

14. Your friends have distanced themselves from you and you're left hanging with only other "professionals."

15. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.

16. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.

17. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or BMWs.

18. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.
19. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's not your problem.

20. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).

21. You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.

22. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks away smiling.

23. The client always thinks your "cut" of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.

24. When you deduct your "take" from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.

25. Every day you wake up and tell yourself, "I'm not going to be doing this stuff the rest of my life."


Unknown said...

So, um... What is the proper proportion of "Yes" to "No" answers to properly determine one's "whore'hood"? And once this is determined, how does one determine the proper level of "whore" that one has attained? For example:
Management Analysist ---> Whore in Training
Consultant ---> 1st Degree Whore, Senior Consultant --> 2nd Degree Whore

I think I might have to go update all the titles on my resume......

Unknown said...

Hey guys, I discovered this a year after you posted it! What a blast, laughed my head off.